


Afterwards

by TheVioletThread



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Cuties, F/F, Falling In Love, Friends to Crushes, Kissing, Romance, all the awkwardness, but still not super canon because pearlapis, don't worry its fun, set after a single pale rose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-05-13 15:45:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14751732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheVioletThread/pseuds/TheVioletThread
Summary: Pearl is starting to realize that she might have wasted quite a bit of her life hoping for love from the wrong person.Lapis is very tired of herself, and everyone else.They have great difficulties helping themselves, but perhaps they can help each other.





	1. Chapter 1

It was unexpected, that was certain. But then, most things were.

Steven brought Lapis to the temple carefully, as one might do with a child who was terribly afraid of something. But as Lapis followed him in, just one quick step behind them, it wasn’t fear that was on her face, half hidden by messy blue bangs.

It was shame.

Pearl’s chest tightened. She immediately closed the book that she had been reading a moment before and set it down neatly beside her. Steven’s smile was wide and cheery, but there was just a faint bit of hesitation in them.

“Guys,” he says, smile still too wide, “look who I found.”

The temple is very quiet. Then there is a tiny crash, the sound of something in the kitchen falling to the floor. Peridot is running out of the temple, door swinging closed behind her.

A bit more of Steven’s smile falls, and Lapis’s head hangs even lower, if that’s even possible at this point.

Amethyst comes sauntering out of the kitchen after Peridot with a scowl and an eye roll already prepared. Pearl resists the urge to sigh. Amethyst casts a careless glare in Lapis’s direction.

“Knew you’d be back.” she mutters, before leaving in the way Peridot went. Steven stares after Amethyst a little bit desperately. “Amethyst wait, can’t everyone just-“

The door swings closed. Lapis sighs. “Told you so.”

Steven slumps a little bit. Then he suddenly seems to remember that Pearl was still sitting there, watching this entire thing play out.

He smiles at her a little bit desperately, and Pearl has seen this look enough to know that he is about to ask her for something that she will not want to give.

“Isn’t it great that Lapis is back? Won’t it be great if she stayed?” he says, still smiling anxiously. Pearl takes a moment to actually ponder his question.

Lapis Lazuli was…tumultuous, but so were the times. And it had been rather enjoyable, perhaps, having a gem around to share in her sense of order. Sort of. And Steven loved having her around.

She exhales.

Lapis looks busy trying to shrink herself into a ball while still remaining standing.

Suddenly a flash of pity goes through her. At some point she didn’t want to judge anyone anymore. So she finds herself smiling, at Steven and at Lapis too.

“Yes. She’s welcome to stay, as long as it’s all right with Garnet.”

Steven’s smile widens from something worried to something real, and Lapis’s shoulders may have straightened just the tiniest bit.

Pearl is suddenly glad for how she answered, although a voice in her head still reminds her that there is plenty of time left to regret it. She shakes that voice away, and contents herself with letting Steven talk and laugh with Lapis about how much fun this is going to be.

                                                                                                                                      -:-

  
A month later things are still very strange.

At least, they seem that way to Pearl.

Despite a couple of attempts from Lapis to talk, Peridot is still refusing to have anything to do with Lapis. Lapis tried sadly for another week or so, before giving up entirely.

Pearl didn’t see her much after that.

Sometimes she would catch a glance of a flash of blue hair or eyes slipping out the door before she could say anything, but that was all.

Pearl felt a twinge in her chest during these instants, but she never followed after Lapis.

She never wanted to bother her if she was truly upset. After all, that was how she herself was. If she ran away in tears then she certainly wouldn’t want anyone to come chasing after her.

_Yes she would._

Pearl takes a breath and continues wiping the plate in her hands till it is sparkling dry.

                                                                                                                                  -:-

Steven comes looking for her one morning. His eyes are filled with a familiar worry as he plops down beside her on the sofa.

“I’m worried about Lapis.” he admits. Pearl frowns a little as she puts her knitting aside. “Why? She hasn’t left again, has she?”

Steven shakes his head. “No-I just wish…” he sighs. “I wish she would stay with us at the temple. Garnet even said she could!”

Pearl remembers. Garnet herself offered Lapis the choice to stay at the temple, but Lapis just drooped as she always did and shook her head.

She was staying somewhere during the night, but where, exactly, she was, none of them had a clue. Lapis just turned up when she turned up. Pearl knows that Steven wishes that Lapis would stay at the temple with them.

He is sure that being around the other gems would be good for her, but Lapis won’t do it.

Pearl doesn’t know Lapis's personal reasons for that, but she can make some guesses, considering what she knows of Lapis Lazuli.

But from Steven’s frustrated expression that isn’t what he needs to hear.

So she smiles and gives his shoulder a little pat. “I’m sure she’ll figure things out soon enough. And she’s still on Earth, that’s something, right?”

Steven’s eyebrows squish together. “I hope she is. I- I need to go check.” He hops up from the sofa and runs out the door. Curiosity aroused, Pearl follows him.

Outside, Steven is standing at the porch railing. “LAPIS! LAPIS, ARE YOU THERE?” he shouts at the top of his lungs. Pearl resists the urge to cover her ears and protect them from the noise.

They wait a moment, Steven’s impatience clear.

Then, from somewhere above them, a blurry blue person thunks down and lands on the porch. Lapis gives Steven a tired half smile.

He grins, going up to her. “Hey Lapis.”

“Hey.” Her voice is soft and a bit hoarse.

Steven begins talking to her, and while Lapis is still Pearl takes the chance to study over her. It only takes a glance to realize why Steven is worried.

In all frank words, Lapis looks terrible.

Her blue hair is matted and unbrushed, covered with a hint of grease. Her body looks thin, thinner than normal, and her blue skin is almost pasty looking. Lapis’s blue clothes looked stained, with what, Pearl can’t imagine.

She almost has an oder, of sorts.

Pearl is immediately confused. Why would Lapis be taking such poor care of her form?

Steven’s voice jolts her out of her thoughts. “Hey Pearl, me and Lapis are gonna go out on the beach for a while, kay?”

Pearl smiles. “All right. Bye bye.” She watches Steven and Lapis tumble out onto the sand ground of the beach, thoughts swirling around in her mind.

She puts a finger to her lips and thinks hard.

                                                                                                                                   -:-

  
When Steven comes in from the beach he is covered in sand and has a smile on his face.

Lapis is gone.

“I’m back!” he tells Pearl. Pearl looks up. “I can see that.”

He takes off his flip flops and tries to brush off some of the sand before he goes inside the house. Pearl bites her lip.

“Where is Lapis?” she asks, trying to be not too interested.

Steven shrugs. “Back to wherever she goes. I don’t know.”

“She hasn’t told you?” Pearl can’t keep the surprise from her voice. Steven shakes his head.

“No.” There is a tiny bit of hurt in his voice.

Steven goes inside. Pearl looks out onto the ocean and continues to ponder. 

                                                                                                                                   -:-

  
The sun sets soon. Stars are beginning to appear.

The movements of the waves are rhythmic and hypnotic, like so many things on this planet. Pearl is still thinking hard.

Then she puts down her knitting into a bag, and puts the bag in the porch chair beside the one she’s sitting in. She stands. Then, with complete ease, she jumps onto the roof.

She stares upward. The stone face of the temple, then the cliff above that loom over her. She exhales.

The night is very clear. She takes another jump, this time landing silently on the ground in front of the lighthouse.

She goes into the lighthouse, consciously making a point of remaining quiet. A long stairwell leads to the top observation deck. Pearl begins the walk to the top. Her feet hit the stair steps silently.

Finally she reaches the top.

The inside room is filled with old junk from the humans that were here last. Wooden boxes, tarps, dust. Pearl looks over it for just a moment, before passing it to go out onto the observation deck. Outside there are the things she thought she would find.

Things recently put there.

A tattered blanket, covered in stains and holes. A glass bowl of perfectly clear water. The wrapper from a Cookie Cat bar.

Pearl sighs. Now that she’s found this she almost wishes that she hadn’t.

She hears the thunk of two small feet landing behind her. She shuts her eyes for just a moment, then turns around. “Lapis.”

“What are you doing here?”

Lapis’s voice isn’t angry as much as it is fearful.

Pearl stares at the blue gem for the first time. Her eyes are wide, almost glowing in the dark. Pearl realizes that there are tears in them after a moment.

“Why are you doing this?” she asks softly.

Lapis’s face tightens. She pushes past Pearl to the side of the deck where her things are. “Why do you care?”

Pearl doesn’t answer that.

“Lapis. Stop this. Why can’t you just come to the temple? We’d be glad to-“

“I don’t want to.” Lapis says with something like a pout on her face, flopping down onto the almost nest of dirty blankets she’s made for herself. Pearl resists the urge to sigh.

“Why must you be this way?”

“Why must you?” Lapis retorts hotly.

They are silent. The wind blows ocean air over the both of them.

 

“You heard her. She doesn’t want me around.” Lapis says in a tiny voice, legs pulled up to her chest.

 

Pearl’s chest tightens. “Letting yourself grow decrepit won’t help that. Punishing yourself won’t make things better.”

“It makes me feel better though. I don’t deserve anything more.” Lapis says, making something that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle.

Pearl does sigh this time. “All right, this is enough.”

Her change of tone is enough to make Lapis look up. “Come on, up, up. You are not going to keep sitting here in a filthy mess.”

Lapis stared at her, mouth open. “Are you actually telling me what to do?”

Pearl nods. “Obviously. Since you’re not capable of doing it for yourself at the moment. Now, up.”

Lapis stares at her, and then, very slowly, she stands. Pearl looks at the mess. “Now, is there anything you must have from this mess.” Lapis looks at her with wide eyes that are certainly wary now.

“Yes.”

Pearl gestures to the mess. “Well, then, get it now. But not those awful blankets.”

There is annoyance on Lapis's face, but she stoops over to do as Pearl says.

She pulls out a worn brown fabric bag that she puts over her shoulder with a quick glance back at Pearl, as if daring her to tell her to put it back. Pearl doesn’t though.

Lapis turns back to her things. She looks carefully over everything, as if to make sure she’s not forgetting anything important. Then she grabs the glass bowl of water and stands up. Pearl’s eyes are curious, but she doesn’t ask.

“All right.”

She gracefully leaps over the deck railing and to the ground below. Lapis is supposed to follow her. After a moment she does.

The grass is wet in the dark.

Lapis’s eyes glisten in the dark.

They take several more leaps (or rather Pearl does, Lapis simply uses her wings.) before they land on the temple porch. Lapis looks around at all of it, deeply uncomfortable.

Pearl looks at her. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m not.”

Pearl holds out her hand. Lapis looks at it, eyes cautious.

“Take it.” Pearl orders, voice a little soft, but firm.

Lapis slowly places her hand in Pearl’s. Her dark eyes focus onto Pearl’s light ones. “Why are you doing this?” she asks for a second time. Pearl hesitates before answering.

“You need someone to take care of you. Please, let me take care of you.”

Lapis’s expression is the closest to one of surprise that Pearl has seen.

“Why would you want to do that? It’s not like we’re friends.” Pearl smiles faintly. “Because, I like to think at least, that it’s something I am good at. And it is something that I would enjoy.”

Lapis’s dark eyes seem to glitter in the dark. She says nothing. Pearl decides it is time that they both went inside. She leads the way, tugging a reluctant Lapis behind her. Inside the house it is empty.

Pearl almost sighs with relief. She leads Lapis across the room to the shining doors of the temple, embedded with gemstones.

Lapis’s hand is clammy and squirmy in her grip. Pearl’s gem glows as she wills the door to open. In an instant it does, to soft piano music and the smell of eucalyptus.

Lapis’s feet are heavy but Pearl pulls her gently on, into her own room. The door closes behind them as they both step through.

“This is my room. You may stay in here with me. Is that all right?” She turns to look at Lapis, and smiles at what she sees.

Lapis’s mouth is open and her eyes are wide. There is a look of awe on her face as she stares at Pearl’s room, shimmering towers of water with cascading water falling freely over them.

“Will this do?” Pearl says, a note of teasing in her tone. Lapis slowly nods, a dazed look on her face. “This is…yes. Of course.”

Pearl smiles, and lets go of Lapis’s hand. They stand in front of each other. Getting a chance to actually look at Lapis, without anyone else as a distraction, the first thing that Pearl notices is just how little Lapis is.

While she is nowhere near as short as Peridot, the top of Lapis’s hair only comes up to a little past Pearl’s shoulder. Everything about her is small and delicate.

Lapis’s head is hanging again, ridiculous blue bangs hiding her face out of sight.

Pearl almost sighs again. But she doesn’t. Instead she simply clasps her hands together and smiles. “Now. Time to get you all settled. First you’ll need to take a bath and-“

“What, why?” Lapis protests, sounding so exactly like Steven when he was little that Pearl nearly laughs.

“Because you have an oder. Now, let me show you.” She gestured for Lapis to follow her, and took a graceful leap off the water tower they were standing on. She lands on the floor of her room, onto a large marble like stone that is flat and juts out of the water that covers the surface floor, like glass.

Lapis lands beside her a moment later. She gazes at the water with a flat expression. “Now, you can bathe here. I think I have some soap somewhere- oh now what’s the matter?”

Lapis has fallen to the ground of the marble stone, sitting with her knees pressed up against her chest. She is almost shaking. Pearl suddenly felt a rush of pity. She bent over, crouching in front of Lapis.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong.”

Lapis bites her lip. “I don’t wanna touch it.” she whispers.

Suddenly Pearl understands. The dirt, the unkept lifestyle from the gem who really should have been the cleanest of them all.

Her expression goes from forceful to gentle. “It’s good water. Nothing bad or scary. Nothing that can hurt you.”

“But-“

“No, Lapis. You are filthy. You must clean yourself. You no longer have a choice. You cannot go on like this."

Lapis’s eyes fall to her knees, ashamed. She takes a long moment, and then slowly, she dips her finger into the water. Lapis lets it stay there for a long moment, shutting her eyes. Finally she opens her eyes.

“It’s…okay.”

Her dark eyes stare up at Pearl. They threaten to melt her.

Pearl shakes her head. “I can leave or stay, but either way you must get yourself clean. I know you don’t like being dirty like this, do you?”

Lapis slowly shakes her head. “I don’t.” she whispers. There is still quite a lot of hesitation in her eyes.

Pearl resists the urge to sigh for the millionth time that day. “Should I leave or stay?” she asks again, more firmly this time. Lapis hangs her head so low Pearl can barely hear her answer.

“Stay. Please.” It is nothing more than a whisper.

Pearl nods. “Of course. I won’t watch.” she promises the blue gem softly. Lapis nods, barely listening.

"I will go find you a towel, some soap…” she says, just to fill the empty noise. Pearl leaves Lapis to go get her the proper bathing things.

A towel that is soft. Her own, favorite, shampoo, the one that smells of roses.

Just a moment later she returns to Lapis, finding her still staring at the water with that same blank look on her face. She looks…lost.

Pearl finds herself humming under her breath, as if to physically force cheeriness into the air. “All right. Here you go. I will go sit over here, if you need anything.”

She gracefully steps onto a stone just a little ways from where Lapis is and sits down, with her back firmly to Lapis. With a small burst of light from her gem, a book is in her hands and she begins to read.

Despite herself, her ears are focused on the slightest sound from Lapis. It feels like an eternity, but after a while she hears the tiniest swish of water. A faint smile pulls at her lips. There are more sounds of water behind her, swishing gently.

Then a small, dripping heave, and a sigh.

Pearl turns a page in her book. Without turning around she speaks to Lapis. “Fresh clothes too, please.”

There is a sigh of protest, but from the faint flash of light that follows her words, Pearl judges that Lapis has done as she asked.

“I’m done.” Lapis says, a groan just behind her words. Pearl tucks her book back into her gem and stands. Lapis is standing there, eyes fixed on her feet, waiting. Pearl smiles at what she sees.

Lapis’s skin is clear and clean, her hair, while still matted, is grease free. Her clothes are clean and spotless, with much fewer wrinkles. It is a marked improvement, and a relatively quick and painless one at that.

“Much better.” Pearl says, and means it.

Lapis glances up to find Pearl smiling at her. Her expression relaxes the tiniest bit. Pearl clasps her hand together. “Now, we need to get your hair brushed and-“ She stops as Lapis groans.

“There’s more?” she asks, a whine evident in her voice.

Pearl gives her a look.

“Lapis. You currently look as if a bird has made a home on the top of your head. Yes there’s more.”

Lapis whines a little more, but Pearl means what she says, and they both end up on top of one of the water towers in Pearl’s room, seated, with Lapis in front of her. Pearl begins to pick at the mess that is Lapis’s hair with a narrow comb.

“Ow..” Lapis mutters softly.

“Sorry.” Pearl says in apology. She continues to tug the comb through Lapis’s short blue hair, slowly making progress. “How in the world did this even happen?” Pearl asks the gem in front of her reproachfully.

Lapis shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know. I’ve never really brushed my hair much.” Pearl frowns at a particular tangle. “You don’t say.”

Lapis shrugs again.

It is just fortunate that Lapis wears her hair short, she can’t imagine the disaster it would be if it were as long as Amethyst’s.

Finally she gets the majority of the tangles out, and Lapis breathes a sigh of relief when Pearl sets down the comb. Pearl takes a soft based brush and runs it through Lapis’s hair, smoothing it down even more.

She takes special care running it over Lapis’s bangs, thoughtfully brushing one swoop of hair to the side a bit, revealing a tiny bit more of Lapis’s eyes. They glint, dark and bright.

Pearl’s cheeks warm faintly. She realizes she has lost attention of what she was doing.

Pearl is finding herself doing that quite a lot today.

The moment draws on too long.

Pearl clears her throat and looks away from Lapis’s enchanting eyes. “This is good.”

A tiny little half smile, something she would never have thought to see on the Lapis from just a couple hours previously, dances on Lapis’s face. “Am I up to your standards now?” Her voice is quiet, still shy, but teasing.

Pearl studies the blue gem.

Her skin is brighter and far cleaner. The blue clothes she wears are spotless and wrinkle free. Her hair is smooth and bouncy, gleaming in the faint, twinkling lights of Pearl’s room. Her dark eyes are fixed on Pearl’s again.

Pearl finds her breath is stuck in her throat.

Lapis is beautiful.

The faintest twinkle of life that has returned to her eyes is even more so.

 

“That strange oder is gone, so that is a positive.”

 

Pearl almost wrinkles her nose after that sentence comes out from her mouth. It didn’t sound quite like she thought it would.

But Lapis isn’t offended. Instead her little shoulders lift, a delicate hand presses to her cheek, and a little giggle falls from her lips. The sound is a fascinating one, something just like a bird would make.

Pearl finds herself entranced by this gem.

The next question Lapis asks her catches her by surprise. “What now?”

Pearl is not sure what to say.

                                                                                                                                           -:-

  
The next few days are strange and a bit bumpy at first, but slowly they fall into a routine of sorts.

Pearl learns quickly that Lapis needs two things immediately.

Lots of alone time and lots of sleep.

It turned out that long stressful space escapades had an affect of utterly exhausting little water gems. Pearl remembered what little she had known of Lapis in the couple months she had lived in the barn with Peridot, and Lapis had seemed to spend most of her energy sleeping and laying around.

Pearl doesn’t think this habit is a good one in the long run, but Lapis does seem genuinely tired, so, for now, Pearl decides to let her rest. Pearl offered to her a little corner of her room, tucked away against a marble wall.

Lapis took it almost immediately, and Pearl has taken it upon herself not to bother Lapis when she’s there. Unless it is important.

Usually she encounters Lapis sometime in the morning, just before she is about to go wake Steven and fix breakfast. They say a few words, before Pearl leaves and Lapis does whatever she does during the day.

A part of her is pleased, because she has noticed every morning they say just another word or two more to the other than the day previously.

Pearl goes about her day, doing chores, going on missions, or any other number of things. She doesn’t see Lapis at all.

Once she went in, Lapis won’t leave her room.

That is something they will have to work on.

She returns to her room that night feeling a bit weary. The temple doors flash open and she enters her room. Piano music plays softly. Pearl sighs softly, rubbing at her eyes. “Lapis? Are you here?” she calls out.

Silence meets her.

Pearl sighs. She has had quite enough of this.

Pearl takes a sudden leap from the water tower she’s standing on and lands at the bottom of her room, on one of the flat stones jutting from the water. She makes her way across the room, to the corner where Lapis has tucked herself.

She is able to find Lapis quickly. The blue gem is laying with her back to her, curled into a ball, knees pressed to her chest.

Pearl frowns. She is laying directly on the marble, with that stained bag she insisted on bringing with her propping her head up. There is a pang of pity in Pearl’s chest, and a bit of shame too.

She hadn’t thought to give Lapis pillows and blankets. Why hadn’t Lapis just asked?

It was no matter. Pearl turns away, mind made up.

                                                                                                                              -:-

  
Pearl holds a pile of perfect things.

Soft blankets and several pillows. All sparkling clean too. Exactly what Lapis needs. A small smile curls at her lips.

She straightens. “Lapis!” she cries out. This time she hears a groan, then a swish of water being summoned into wings.

Lapis lands a moment later in front of her, a rather grumpy look on her face. Pearl smiles. This will surely fix that.

“Lapis. I’ve found these for you, I’m sure you’ll need them, just to help you begin settling in and everything.”

Lapis looks at the pile of things in Pearl’s arms. Her expression is sour. “Thanks…I’m fine.” she says, a note of something like distain in her voice.

Something about it irritates Pearl.

“So you’re just going to keep laying on the stone floor forever?” she says, tone snippy and she knows it.

Lapis’s eyes harden. “Sure.”

Pearl makes a noise in the back of her throat. “I’m trying to help you Lapis, can’t you see that?” Lapis glares at her. “Well maybe I don’t want your pity!” she spits out suddenly. Pearl stares at her, something inside her boiling.

“Well then, perhaps you shouldn’t behave so pitifully all the time then!” she says, spitting right back.

Lapis looks as though she’s been slapped and Pearl instantly regrets her words.

“Lapis I-“

But it’s too late, Lapis has already flown away, back to her little corner. Pearl sits down on the water tower, staring at the pile of blankets, now forgotten. Tears threaten to swell at her eyes.

A few escape down her cheeks. She wipes them away furiously.

                                                                                                                            -:-

Lapis comes back in forty seven minutes and twenty four seconds.

 

Pearl wasn’t counting.

 

She had already decided to go find Lapis and apologize after fifty minutes anyway.

Lapis stands in front of her, bangs falling all over the place. Lapis quickly brushes them away, revealing eyes that are red and puffy.

She’s been crying.

Pearl feels awful all over again. “Lapis I am-“

“No don’t. Don’t say you’re sorry.” Lapis chokes out. Pearl’s brow furrows in confusion. “Why-why not?”

Lapis sort of flops down in front of where Pearl is sitting. “You-you just can’t be any nicer. If you are then I’m just going to feel even worse right now.” she says softly, pulling her legs up under her.

Pearl shakes her head. “No. I’m just-getting too pushy. It just happens and I-“ she trails off, losing her words.

Lapis is shaking her head. “You’re being so kind to me-too kind, after everything, and all I do is yell and get angry with you. I’m so sorry Pearl. I just-I _hate_ getting help.”

“No.” Pearl said sarcastically, not a moment off beat.

The faintest of smiles appeared on Lapis’s face and it was a rush Pearl had never known.

“You’re the only person who wants to help me. The only one who cares about me. And I yell at you.” Lapis’s voice wavered. Her glimmering blue eyes filled with tiny tears, threatening to spill over.

Pearl’s heart, artificial though it was, very nearly broke. “T-that’s all right. Lots of people have yelled at me before. My feelings aren’t damaged in the least.” hse said easily, smiling, anything to put a smile back on Lapis’s face.

Lapis let out a sniffle and several tears did escape, but the smile was back. She wipes at her nose and eyes a little desperately. Pearl gives her a moment to collect herself.

“Lapis.”

The blue gem looked up. “What?”

Pearl looks at her, face flat. “I don’t think that you’re pitiful.”

Lapis’s cheeks darken the tiniest bit as she stares at her. “What?”

Pearl shakes her head. “What I said earlier wasn’t true. I don’t think you are pitiful Lapis.” Lapis’s eyes are wide, and her expression unreadable. “Why not?” she asks softly.

Pearl takes a moment to find her words.

“Because you are just a person who has had a great many unfortunate things happen to you, none of which are your personal fault. If it were I in those situations, I’m not certain I would be able to go on the way that you have managed to. Therefore I think that it’s very understandable for you to have fallen into a bit of a…life rut.”

She looks at Lapis, wanting to make certain the blue gem understands her.

“All you need is a bit of help. Then I am certain that things will work out, and quite happily too.”

She watches Lapis for a reaction. She sees the way Lapis’s throat swallows.

 

“Why in the stars would you want to help me.”

 

Pearl’s mind is caught off guard. Why did she want to help Lapis so much? It was certainly not because of any encouragement from the water gem herself. Pearl knows the reason, but she barely wants to say it.

But Lapis is staring at her with those huge dark eyes, and Pearl knows that she will never actually be able to tell Lapis no.

“Because I need to help someone.”

_Because I need someone._

“It-I don’t know. I just cannot let you live outside, alone and miserable.”

“I wasn’t miserable.”

Pearl sighs. “This will never work unless you let me help you. Just a little bit.” She looks pleadingly at the other gem.

Lapis, very slowly, nods. “Just a little bit.”

She smiles up at Pearl, a real, true smile, for the first time. It is a beautiful thing, Pearl decides.

“That means you have to take the blankets. _Graciously_.”

Lapis rolls her eyes. “ _Finnne_.”

“Lapis do you even know the meaning of the word graciously?”

“Do I want to?”

Pearl sighs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins. 
> 
> I'm really excited about this!!! This fic feels really different when I'm writing it, and it's really fun. So I'm planning on it being more/all in Pearl's perspective, which is something I feel like I do less of? She's really fun to write, I think she's got a lot more going on in her head than most of the gems. 
> 
> Please, tell me what you think! I luv comments and stuff, and although you don't have to bribe me, saying nice things makes my fingers move faster^-^ 
> 
> Also, this is set after A Single Pale Rose, but do not think for a moment that this is going to be canon at all. New episodes are coming out in a week or something? and who knows what could happen now? 
> 
> So just to be clear: we are going to dance around in non canon/made up land where pearlapis comes true and they kiss all the time. 
> 
> And it is going to be so. much. fun. ^-^


	2. Chapter 2

It has been a week since Pearl invited Lapis into her room. If Pearl is being truthful, it has not turned out to be as bad of a week as she might (did) have previously thought.

Lapis is quiet most of the time, and they usually do not talk more than once or twice in the same number of days. Pearl had thought that it would be intrusive, tiring even, to share her personal space with someone, but it hasn’t. Having Lapis in her room is different than having Garnet, Amethyst, or Steven in her space.

While she loves all of them dearly, the thought of having Steven share her room is…exhausting. Garnet comes with just a tinge of stress, she is always having to take care not to say or do something ridiculous in front of the fusion.

Sharing with Amethyst, although she loves her so, would be just plain irritating.

All of her friends personalities would be too much for Pearl to take. But somehow Lapis is not the same way. Her personality is much…sleepier.

In all honesty, Pearl is beginning to think of her as a sleepy little bird, sleeping most days away in her little nest of pillows and blankets. Pearl finds herself smiling at the plate in her hands.

Stars, she is being ridiculous.

“Hey Pearl!” Steven comes bounding into the kitchen. Pearl smiles at him. “Hello Steven.”

She returns to washing the dishes. Steven hops over to her and begins helping her rinse the soapy dishes. Pearl smiles fondly. Steven is a sweet boy.

“Pearl.”

Pearl blinks. “Hmm?”

Steven’s blue eyes stare up at hers. “Have you seen Lapis lately?”

Pearl flushes, although she can’t imagine why. “I-well-“

“-cause I looked for her yesterday and the day before that, and I couldn’t find her. I really hope she hasn’t gone back into space.”

Pearl nods vaguely. “Hm, well. Steven she’s actually, um. Lapis is staying with me right now.”

Steven stares at her, confused. “Is she inside your gem again?”

Pearl feels her face flush harder. “Noo, no. She-she’s staying in my room.”

Steven stares at her for another moment, and then his face breaks into a wide beam. “Pearl that’s amazing! Now Lapis will have a chance to talk to everyone and make friends and really see how great Earth is!”

Or to sleep her life away. But Pearl doesn’t say that.

“Yes, well, I suppose that could happen.”

Steven is almost bouncing up and down. “I can go see her right now even!”

Pearl instantly doesn’t like this idea.

Lapis in her room is perfectly fine, but it doesn’t take very much imagination to guess how long it would take for her room to become a chaos of Lapis and Steven fun time. No, this will not do.

He has already started moving to the temple door, but Pearl quickly pulls him back to the kitchen.

“Actually I think that Lapis is sleeping right now, but what if I tell her that you’d like to see her and then you both can spend time together later?” Steven deflates just a little, but he nods, and Pearl breaths a silent sigh of relief.

Her room has been saved for the moment.

“Now, help me finish these dishes and then I’ll go talk to Lapis.”

“Okay!” Steven says, now completely satisfied. They both begin to clean the dishes once more. “Pearl?”

“Hm?”

“I’m so glad that you’re being so nice to Lapis.”

Pearl blushes brightly. “We still have dishes to wash Steven.” He just laughs.

                                                                                                                                                                 -:-

  
After they finish Pearl goes to find Lapis, just as she had promised Steven she would.

As her feet drop gracefully to the solidified water, a slight bit of discomfort creeps into her shoulders. It is an unspoken rule that Pearl not bother Lapis at this time of day.

Or, at least Pearl found it unspoken, perhaps it is not a rule at all and merely something Pearl has constructed in her own mind. Yes, that is likely it.

She exhales.

Pearl finds Lapis huddled away in her little corner.

Her feet are dipped in the water, as she sits on the edge of the marble stones. A book of some sort is balanced carefully in her lap. Pearl didn’t know Lapis had any sort of interest in human things.

The little blue gem has pulled one of the blankets Pearl gave her around her shoulders, wrapping herself tight within its depths. Perhaps she is cold.

She is intent on the book, and doesn’t notice Pearl standing there.

Pearl makes a polite little cough, and Lapis looks up. “Oh. Pearl, I didn’t hear you come in.” she says.

She has a soft little way of speaking that Pearl can’t help but find charming.

Pearl blinks, realizing that she has forgotten to speak. “Steven, he, um, wants to spend time with you today. I told him I’d ask you.” Lapis smiles. “That sounds…fun.”

Neither of them move. Pearl makes another unnecessary noise with her throat. “So, um. I wasn’t aware that you read. Books, I mean.” She makes a vague gesture to the object in Lapis’s lap.

“Yes, well. I do, just a little. It’s easier when they have pictures.” Pearl nods. “Yes, of course.” There is another awkward pause.

Pearl wonders if Lapis has no idea what to say either. Lapis’s eyes, when she finally looks up at Pearl, are uncertain. But what else was she supposed to feel?

“Tell Steven I’ll be out in a little while.” she says finally. Pearl sees a curve in her lips that is almost happy.

And it is enough for now.

                                                                                                                                                                 -:-

  
Pearl is busy knitting something new when Steven and Lapis come tumbling in from outside. They are both covered in sand.

Pearl sighs softly.

Steven grabs Lapis’s hand. “Hey, let’s get some of this sand off before we go inside.” Lapis shrugs and does as he asks. They return a moment later, both slightly less sandy.

Pearl smiles, satisfied. “Did you have fun?”

Lapis smiles, her body looser than Pearl has seen. She sits down on the sofa, beside Pearl. Right beside her.

“Yeah. It was fun. Right Steven?” Steven nods. “Yeah!”

Pearl can’t imagine what it is that they do outside, but she doesn’t actually want to know either.

“I’m going to go get cleaner, all right?” Lapis doesn’t wait for a response, but simply rises and enters the temple with a small flash of light. Her skirt moves around her like water, fabric swishing around her hips as she moves. Pearl has never noticed that.

Steven is smiling about something. Pearl turns her eyes towards the little boy. “Yes Steven?”

Steven smiles. “Nothing Pearl.”

Pearl doesn’t quite believe him, but she goes back to her knitting anyway. “All right Steven.”

                                                                                                                                                                   -:-

  
A day or two later Pearl is out with the gems on another mission.

There is another corrupted gem creature about, screaming and wailing and generally causing a mess. Garnet wanted everyone to come, and with everyone’s help the creature is quickly poofed, and they warp back to the temple.

Steven hops off the warp pad first.

“That was really cool how you kicked it in the face Garnet! I can’t wait to tell Lapis about it later!”

Everyone sort of stiffens at the mention of Lapis. Amethyst rolls her eyes. “Is she _still_ hanging around?” Beside her Peridot is silent.

Pearl feels that the best course of action is to go into the kitchen. Steven will need to eat a sandwich pretty soon anyway.

Steven is saying something else. “-eah, she’s still here. She’s staying in Pearl’s room!”

Silence follows. Steven runs off to wherever. He is rather like a butterfly, Pearl decides dryly. She continues to make a sandwich. It needs to be perfect.

“Why is Lapis staying in your room Pearl!?”

Pearl hums under her breath. Amethyst is still standing behind her.

The sandwich needs olives. They need to be in cut into tiny little pieces, so Steven won’t choke on one. She brushes past Amethyst, pulling the olives from the refrigerator and a knife from the drawer. Behind her Amethyst groans.

“Pearlllll come on.”

Pearl begins cutting the olives into little chunks. They need to be smaller. Steven might choke.

“Pearl.”

Garnet’s voice is quiet from over her shoulder.

“Well she wasn’t leaving and she couldn’t very well live on the porch now could she? Or the sofa perhaps? I don’t think anyone, you all included, would find that fun.” She turns around to find Garnet, Amethyst, and Peridot standing right behind her.

She huffs a bit, feeling a bit prickled.

Garnet shrugs. “Okay.” Then she leaves.

Peridot gives Pearl a quick glance and then goes after Garnet.

Amethyst is still eyeing her. Pearl sighs. “Amethyst I really must-“

“It really sucked how Lapis ditched Peri. It sucked a lot.” And then she leaves.

Pearl stands there, very still.

Perhaps the bread should have a layer of mayonassie on top of it. Without it the bread would be dry and Steven might choke. She goes to get the knife and the jar.

                                                                                                                                                                   -:-

Pearl goes to her room later that night feeling very off centre. It is not a good feeling. The silence in her head is altogether unpleasant.

“Lapis!”

And she waits. Then she hears the sound of water wings being summoned. Just a moment later Lapis falls to the ground with a splash in front of her. The water gem’s eyes are curious.

“Hello.” It is not a question, but it is.

Pearl sighs. Lapis looks very confused now. “Are-are you all right?” Pearl smiles. “Certainly. -certainly.”

Lapis is still staring at her. Pearl suddenly realizes that she needs to sit down. So she does.

“What’s wrong with you?” Lapis asks bluntly, not quite having mastered her manners. Pearl doesn’t criticize her for it now.

“I just- I needed to sit for a moment.”

Lapis looks disbelieving, but she doesn’t ask anything else. She sits down beside Pearl, about two feet away from her. They sit there, quiet. The quiet doesn’t ache like Pearl would’ve thought before this moment. Pearl doesn’t know how long it is before one of them speaks again.

“-go outside with me?”

Lapis looks over at her. “Why?”

“Steven would say for fun.” “What would you say?”

“Because I feel crazy just sitting in here.” Lapis nods. “All right. Where to?”

Pearl looks over at her.

                                                                                                                                                                       -:-

  
The temple door opens, and Pearl pokes her head outside. She looks around. The house is empty.

“It’s fine.” she says to Lapis, who is behind her.

Lapis insisted on checking the house before leaving the sanctuary of Pearl’s room. Fortunately the house is empty. Pearl is not sure what she would’ve said if anyone would have been there.

Lapis creeps out, just a step behind Pearl. Pearl feels very silly and wants to say it, but she says quiet. They move through the house softly even though it is empty, and go outside. It it dark now, nighttime.

The stars are out, shining above them. Pearl forces herself not to stare.

She moves down the wooden stairs, Lapis’s footfalls just a moment behind her own. They hit sand. The movement of the waves is almost hypnotic.

The wind blows and Lapis’s skirt brushes against her legs. She hadn’t realized Lapis was standing so closely behind her.

The sand shifts under her shoes. They will have sand on them afterwards.

Ugh.

“Where now?” Lapis asks. Pearl realizes she has been still for too long. Oh.

“This way.”

Lapis hesitates. The wind blows again.

Lapis’s form has natural movement within it. So much of her moves with the wind. Her skirt swirls, hair flutters, ribbons dance. Lapis keeps herself tightly under guard, under control, but Pearl can’t help but think she should be the freest one of them all.

Someone like her should be always dancing, always smiling. She deserves nothing less.

Words bubble up on her lips, but she doesn’t even know what they are.

“Ahh…”

Lapis nudges her leg with a brush of her hip. “Hellooo…” she murmurs, the faintest hint of a smirk dancing around the corners of her mouth. Pearl clears her throat. “Here.”

She holds out her hand to Lapis. Lapis stares at it, a little bit appalled, but then she seems to realize that is not what Pearl intended at all.

A little sigh slips from her mouth, but she puts her tiny little hand into Pearl’s own slender one. Lapis’s fingers are cold.

They walk down the beach, hands held together. Soon they make their way to the human town. It is night, which is when most humans are asleep. It is much more peaceful to come out this time of day, when the world is empty.

Pearl spares a glance over at Lapis. The water gem is busy looking around at things, buildings, objects, that belong to humans. Pearl is surprised at how interested she is. Peridot had been vaguely interested in humans and their world, but it was a short and fleeting interest.

She had quickly returned her attention to her machines and parts that she was always fiddling with.

Pearl herself found humans…rather…well, dull was such a harsh word. Perhaps…uninteresting? But then it had been such a long time since she had first become acquainted with humanity. After so many thousands of years it would be difficult for any gem to retain an interest in such a simple species.

Except for Rose. Pearl clears her throat.

Lapis immediately glances back at her, curious. They look at each other, both curious and wide eyed. Pearl realizes that she has nothing to say. That is happening more and more with Lapis. How peculiar.

Lapis’s fingers brush her wrist.

“Pearl.” Her voice, low and steady, like the ocean waves against a beach, jolts Pearl’s mind out of her thoughts. Pearl’s eyes move back down to Lapis, who is watching her curiously.

“What are you thinking when you do that?” she asks Pearl suddenly.

Pearl blinks. “I- excuse me?”

Lapis’s fingers are curling themselves around Pearl’s wrist in little swirling patterns now. As if she’s pondering carefully over what to say to Pearl.

“When your eyes move like that. They get all wide and distant. You’re thinking something when you do that.” It isn’t a question.

Pearl bites her lip. “I-I suppose I am thinking then. Not any one particular thing, just whatever needs to be-“ she stops, feeling a rush of self consciousness. Lapis is still looking at her, expecting her to finish.

“Well?”

Pearl swallows. “Just whatever thing needs to be analyzed. Whatever I-I don’t quite understand.”

Lapis stares up at her for a long time, and Pearl truly cannot imagine what she’s thinking. Then Lapis laughs.

“So you don’t really understand everything all the time.” She sounds amused.

Pearl feels confused. “When did I ever say that I know everything?” She goes back over the words that she had said to Lapis in the past month, trying to find the instance where she said such a remark.

Lapis is laughing now, a small blue hand covering her mouth, but still failing to hide the giggles that escape. “You-you didn’t literally say that Pearl. It’s just your overall attitude. You, well, you usually act like you know everything.”

Pearl blinks. Oh.

“Do I?”

Lapis smiles at her, entirely amused. “You do.”

“That must be annoying.”

“Oh it is. Sometimes I’ve considered throwing you off one of your water towers.”

“I appreciate your restraint.”

“You should, I’ve had a difficult time of it.” Lapis smirks victoriously.

 

Even though she’s lost, Pearl finds a part of herself enjoying their conversation immensely.

 

“Now, why have we come out here?”

Pearl glances out around them. There are a few street lamps that shine out light, but darkness still coats the small street despite the effort of the lamps.

“I-I….wanted..I don’t really know what I wanted. I suppose wanted to talk.”

Lapis’s arm folds around her own. “They don’t want to talk to you now.”

They.

The other gems.

Pearl’s throat burns, but slowly she nods. “It’s-just not the same.”

It’s really not. Pearl is very aware of that. But there is no point in dwelling endlessly on it. She knew once Steven knew it wouldn’t ever-

Lapis clears her throat. “Pearl.”

Lapis is looking at her again, eyes wide. “Is this what’s bothering you? That everyone knows about…her now?”

Pearl straightens her shoulders. “I do not know what you mean. Nothing is bothering me.” Lapis makes a small noise. “Right.”

They stand, unmoving in the middle of the road.

Surprisingly, Lapis is the first one to speak.

“Wanna go back?”

The wind ruffles her hair a bit. Pearl resists the urge to tuck part of it behind Lapis's ear.

“Yes.”

                                                                                                                                                                     -:-

  
Their decision is not quite true.

They do go back to the temple, but they make their way back along the beach, walking along at an inefficient pace. Lapis’s hand rests tucked in the curve of Pearl’s elbow, and Pearl is not sure exactly how it got there. Still, its presence there is not horrible.

Lapis, as she walks, likes to dig her toes into the sand, effectively caking them with sand.

Pearl remembers what Lapis said about finding her annoying, and so she says nothing.

Beside her Lapis huffs. Perhaps she is aware of Pearl’s criticizing thoughts towards her.

Perhaps Pearl is annoying her in someway right this moment.

Pearl’s shoulders tighten.

But Lapis begins speaking and Pearl pauses her thoughts to listen. “I wouldn’t mind Earth if it weren’t so…”

Pearl blinks. “So what?”

Lapis shrugs. “I don’t know. It’s boring, but I don’t mind that. It’s like-I have to stay here. This-place is just where I’m supposed to be. I don’t want to be here, but it keeps pulling me back.”

Pearl nods slowly. “You- didn’t care for space?” She is careful to keep her tone up.

Lapis sighs. “No.”

Pearl watches the waves. They are rather high tonight.

“I thought…that I wanted to be alone. But after, not being that way, I don’t like the quiet. I hate the ways I start to think.”

Pearl knows exactly what she means. She tells Lapis so. The blue gem takes this silently.

Her fingers tap against Pearl’s skin. They are quite cold.

“Lapis, why are your hands so cold?”

Lapis looks at her like she’s lost her mind. “I- don’t know?”

Pearl frowns and presses a hand to Lapis’s forehead, ignoring her protests. Her skin is quite freezing everywhere, Pearl realizes. “Lapis, you’re absolutely freezing to death!”

Lapis seems confused. “I’m fine, I think.”

Pearl shakes her head, utterly ignoring her. “We need to get you inside, with warm blankets, I even have a sweater somewhere that you could borrow-“

Lapis gives her a look. “Quit it Pearl.”

Pearl stopped, averting her eyes. “Sorry.” she mumbles. Lapis’s fingers tap against the curve of her elbow. She sighs quietly.

“When we go in, the sweater, it might be nice.” Lapis says awkwardly.

It is a compromise. Pearl decides that that is plenty. She also notices the awkward _we_ , so lumpy sounding in Lapis’s mouth. Something about Lapis using the word gives her hope.

Perhaps if Lapis is willing now to join both of them so close in a single word, she is beginning to dislike Pearl a little less. She can’t help but smile, even though she isn’t entirely sure of the reason. Steven would say that it didn’t matter.

One didn’t have to know the reasons they were happy to be happy. It is hard for Pearl to accept that type of loose outlook on life.

Lapis is laughing about something quietly. Pearl has missed something.

“What are you laughing at?” Lapis smiles, and it is only a little bit wry. “You.”

Pearl frowns, confused. “Am I amusing? I am not trying to be.”

Lapis smiles again, her dark eyes meeting Pearl’s. “You’re a little weird, you know that, don’t you?” Pearl purses her lips. “I’m really not.”

Lapis pokes her shoulder. “You kind of are. Although it’s sort of endearing and cute. Still annoying too though.” Lapis grins, teeth gleaming.

Pearl is completely and entirely confused, but she is still glad to see Lapis’s smile. Even though she can’t decide if Lapis has just complimented her, insulted her, or perhaps even both. Whatever the water gem intended by her words, Pearl still feels a small little rush of warmth in her chest.

Lapis’s smile has faded now, but Pearl thinks it still has yet to sink back into the depressed sag of a few weeks before. Pearl realizes that they have returned to the temple. A flicker of disappointment wells up inside her.

Disappointed? Yes, she is.

It has been fun, taking this peculiar walk about with Lapis. There are so many things she has enjoyed about it. Lapis, despite possessing a sort of grandiose air of angst about her, is quite fun to talk to. She is quick and clever. Her hands are small and delicate and soft, and they tuck ever so neatly into the curve of Pearl’s elbow.

The swishy fabric of her skirt swirls around Lapis as she walks, brushing everything she comes near.

Pearl’s legs felt the fabric numerous times as they walked. She-

Lapis’s smile is back. She really must quit doing this. At some point she is just embarrassing herself. Then, still smiling that strange half smile Lapis slips her hand from Pearl’s arm and darts up to the deck of the beach house.

She goes inside, and then she is gone.

Pearl sighs, and follows her at a much slower pace inside. Pearl can hear the waves lapping at the beach before she shuts the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter!!!! 
> 
> And now this fic is officially not canon at all anymore!! But I'm just gonna go with it;)
> 
> Honestly right now I'm having so much fun writing Pearl in her voice, it's so different from Lapis's :D Also, I think I'm gonna try to update this one around the end of every month ish? Nothing's set in stone, and I might change it around for the Pearlapis bomb, idk yet. But we will see!!!! As always I love hearing what u all think<333 
> 
> See u all soon!!^-^


	3. Chapter 3

Pearl gives one last glance to Steven’s lumpy sleeping form, before stepping into her own room within the temple.

She exhales, letting the peace that comes with being in her own room seep over her. The tinkling sound of piano meets her ears. Slowly Pearl smiles.

A new lightness about her, she now goes about her daily nighttime routine.

First she plays her violin for 80 minutes. She is currently fascinated with Vivaldi.

Once the 80 minutes have passed she puts her violin away and proceeds to conduct a through examination of the swords in her collection. One appears to have a bit of rust on its hilt, so Pearl carefully wipes it clean with some disinfectant spray and a paper towel.

After she finishes conducting her survey 150 minutes have passed, or 2 and a half hours. The usual time.

She feels much more relaxed now, knowing that everything is properly in order. Now she sits down to read, knowing that many peaceful hours will pass like this. She pulls out the book she is currently reading (rereading).

She repositions herself into a more comfortable position and begins to read.

Pearl has been reading for over an hour when a scream pierces through the peaceful quiet. Pearl immediately sits up, only to hear the scream again.

Lapis.

That is what it sounds like.

Pearl stands, moving quickly. In an instant she is at Lapis’s little corner of her room.

Her eyes look over the space quickly. Lapis is lying with her back towards Pearl, legs pressed to her chest like she is trying to turn herself into a ball.

She screams again.

Pearl hurries over to her, touching her shoulder only to find that Lapis’s skin is boiling hot to the touch and covered in a glossy sheen of sweat. Lapis’s eyes are closed tightly.

A nightmare.

Her body trembles, and Pearl’s heart wavers. “Lapis, wake up.”

Nothing.

Pearl bites back a sigh. Carefully she begins shaking Lapis gently.

Lapis’s eyes flash open.

The colored parts of her eyes are small, the dark pupils narrow. She instantly pulls herself away from Pearl’s touch. Her arms move to wrap around herself, eyes moving like lightning.

She is trying to hold herself as still as possible, but she still cannot keep her shoulders from trembling.

Lapis is quite… _scary_ , when she is like this.

Movements quick, unpredictable, fearful. Like a wild creature.

But then there is something more there that is all together more pitiful. Lapis's shoulders are shaking and she cannot bring herself to look at Pearl.

Against her better sense, Pearl decides that half, at the current moment, is the more prevalent of the two. And despite whatever Lapis might want, Pearl cannot simply leave her alone still in this way.

So she speaks.

“Lapis, are you all right?”

Lapis slowly raises her head, bangs drooping all over her face, eyes sadder than Pearl could have ever imagined. The edges quaver with wetness.

Then tears come rushing down. Pearl immediately moves, tugging Lapis’s small form into her arms, letting Lapis sob into her chest. Pearl holds her tightly and wills herself to not begin crying as well.

 

Finally Lapis’s sobs quiet.

She still makes no effort to pull herself away from Pearl’s arms, and her face remains determinedly buried in Pearl’s blouse.

Pearl wishes she knew of a way to be more comforting to Lapis. She runs her fingers softly over Lapis’s hair, smoothing it a bit.

Slowly Lapis pulls her face away from Pearl. Her eyes don’t meet Pearl’s. Lapis’s skin is still hot to the touch.

She has not yet pulled herself from Pearl’s arms, and Pearl is glad she has not. In some peculiar way it makes her feel better to hold Lapis close to her, almost as if it’s a way of keeping the water gem safer.

This is such a strange thought. She will have to ponder it more deeply later.

“Did you have a nightmare?” she asks suddenly, softly. It surprises Lapis. She answers only with a shrug of her shoulders.

“I-suppose.” Her voice is hoarse, which is actually not a surprise considering all the screaming and sobbing she had just done.

Even though it is the logical outcome, the sound of her voice so tired and cracked makes Pearl sad.

She is desperately curious to know what has happened, how they can avoid it ever happening again, but she is trying her hardest not to be too - _pushy_ , as Lapis has phrased it several times.

Her finger tips rub light circles against Lapis’s shoulder blades, close, but never touching her gemstone. Lapis’s muscles relax ever so slightly against her touch.

After a moment, to Pearl’s surprise, she sort of falls back over, leaning against Pearl. Her cheek presses against the curve of Pearl’s neck. It is not an unpleasant sensation, merely a surprising one.

Pearl hums softly under her breath.

Lapis lets out a noise that could only be described as a grunt. “What’s that?”

Pearl glances down. “What-do you mean?”

Lapis’s fingers curl against her thigh, and her artificial breath puffs against her neck. “That thing you’re humming. What is it?”

Pearl is confused. “You mean, what is it called?”

Lapis shrugs. “Sure.”

Pearl thinks for a moment. The tune. A meaningless human melody she has heard on the radio lately, absorbing it into her knowledge without really thinking about it.

Quite a- _human_ way of absorbing knowledge.

“I-Actually, I’m not certain of exactly what it is. Some human tune that plays itself on the radio.”

Lapis makes a quiet noise in the back of her throat, the only thing that lets Pearl know Lapis has actually heard her. “It sounds pretty. I’d like to hear it sometime.” She sighs again, head flopping against Pearl’s chest.

Pearl bites her lip, words that she very much wants to say bubbling up in her mouth. But she doesn’t say them. After all, this moment is very nice, being able to be so at peace with Lapis like this, and she would not like to annoy Lapis from the peacefulness.

Finally though she can no longer contain herself, and she speaks.

“You could come out.”

Lapis gives her a funny look.

Pearl clarifies. “From my room. W-we could do things.”

Lapis looks slightly incredulous. “What, together?” There is a bit of laughter in her voice. Pearl swallows. “Yes. It could-be fun.”

Lapis doesn’t meet her eyes. Pearl feels uncomfortable, but she presses on. Perhaps Lapis doesn’t quite understand her point.

“I just…I don’t believe that you can be happy, hiding away in my room forever.”

“I have good company, don’t I?” Lapis says with a faint smirk.

Pearl looks at her, and she sighs. “…you’re probably right.”

Pearl straightens just the slightest bit. “Wonderful. We can start in the morning.”

Lapis rolls her eyes, but it doesn’t seem as harshly meant as normal. “I’m sure you’ve already made an intricate plan of how to get me out more.”

Pearl fights back a triumphant smile. “Actually I have.”

Lapis groans, and her head falls back against Pearl’s chest. “All right.” she says quietly.

Her form is small and delicate against Pearl’s own. Her short blue hair glimmers ever so slightly in the soft light of Pearl’s room. For some reason Pearl wants to run her hand over the blue threads, smooth them down from their current, rumpled state.

Lapis allows her to brush her hair for her, so perhaps touching it, just to smooth it down would be all right.

Careful to keep her touch light, Pearl softly runs her hand over Lapis’s hair. Lapis has no reaction for just a moment, and Pearl’s back tightens. Then the little blue water gem lets out a tiny little sigh and nuzzles closer into the curve of Pearl’s neck.

Pearl takes her reaction to mean that she likes the attention.

She continues to pet Lapis’s hair, and only a little while later hears soft, slow breaths falling from Lapis’s mouth.

A glance down at the gem who is already starting to drool a little bit on her shoulder reveals that she is already fast asleep. Pearl feels a soft feeling inside her chest slowly begin to blossom.

A small smile curls at her lips.

                                                                                                                            -:-

At 5:15 am Pearl gives Lapis’s arm a little shake.

She watches as Lapis’s eyes flutter open. The blue gem lets out a mumbly groan. “Why’d you..”

Pearl gives her a cheerful smile, one that is only a little bit hesitant. “Time to start the day! And you’re going to start it with me!”

Lapis looks at her with a remarkable amount of evil for someone so sleepy.

Pearl forces her smile upwards a bit harder, feeling only just a little bit afraid. “You were going to try to leave my room and go do something today, remember?”

Lapis blinks painfully slow. “…ugh. I did say that…” She groans again.

Pearl choses to take that as enthusiasm.

Why not.

After cleaning her face a bit with some of the readily available water and brushing all the tangles from Lapis’s hair, Pearl deems them both presentable for the day.

Lapis rolls her eyes, but says nothing.

Pearl gives a careful glance towards the water gem. Her eyes are shifting and downcast, and her little blue hands are clutching at her skirt in wads. Pearl knows what is wrong, but she remembers from when Steven was little that not everything must be talked about.

Sometimes hands must simply be grabbed and pulled along in the correct direction. So that is what she does.

Lapis’s hand is clammy and squirmy in her own.

They step out of Pearl’s room with a small flash of light. The inside of Steven’s room is dark. Pearl lets go of Lapis’s hand to move and turn on the overhead light.

When she turns around, Lapis is still standing awkwardly in the centre of the room. Her neck is craned around, looking.

Pearl’s fingers fold themselves together. “Steven isn’t here.” Lapis turns back around. “Where-“

“Spending the night with Greg. He does that every Thursday.”

Lapis still seems confused. “What’s a… _thursday_?”

Pearl blinks, and then her smile turns soft. “Humans separate days into seven day chunks, called weeks. One week is seven days. They have given names to each of the seven days. In the proper order they go: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Then they start the entire pattern over for the next seven days. Does that make sense?”

Lapis stares at her, and then her lips twitch upwards into a smirk. “I guess.”

There is a particular look on her face. Lapis smiles as she brushes past Pearl and into the kitchen. The fabric of her skirts brush Pearl’s thigh as she passes.

Pearl follows after her, feeling as if she is possibly missing something. When she comes into the kitchen Lapis has already pulled herself up to sit on the edge of the counter top.

Pearl immediately frowns. “Lapis that is not sanitary at all.”

Lapis looks up, her eyes wide. “Am I doing something wrong _again_?” Her voice wavers in a surprising way.

Pearl bites the edge of her lip. Lapis does only occupy a tiny portion of the counter. And it is likely that her clothes don’t contain that much dirt. Pearl shakes her head.

“Oh, no, no. You’re fine.”

Lapis looks at her for another moment, her beautiful blue eyes so very wide, and then, slowly, she nods.

“Okay.” Her voice is quiet now, like a soft wave. It is so very pretty-

Pearl clears her throat. “Ahem. Well, I’d better get started.”

“What are you doing?” Lapis asks with a surprising amount of curiosity.

Pearl likes this curious, interested part of Lapis. She also loves to answer questions.

“I make Steven pancakes every Thursday morning when he gets back from Greg’s…van, I suppose.”

Lapis nods. “What are pancakes?”

Pearl gives her a look. “They are a flat cake that is fried in a pan.”

Lapis nods again. “Oh.”

Pearl goes over to the cabinet and takes out the box of pancake mix. Something is turning over and over in the back of her mind. She turns around to Lapis again.

“You lived on Earth for nearly eight months and you never ended up learning about the days of the week?”

Lapis pulls her knees up to her chest. “…Peridot didn’t really know about them either. And there weren’t really any other people to talk to, out in the country…”

Pearl nods vaguely. “Oh. Well.”

She begins mixing the pancake mix with water. She will need eggs next. She takes the carton out from the refrigerator and sets it down beside the mixing bowl.

Her fingers still on the lid.

“You and Peridot…you liked each other very much?”

Pearl’s voice is too high. It sounds piercing, even to herself.

Lapis chin rests against her knees, and Pearl notices her hesitance to answer.

“I guess.”

Pearl hums under her breath. “Oh. That’s nice.”

Her voice is much less shrill this time. Much better.

“Why do you ask?”

Lapis’s voice is remarkably not hostile.

Pearl continues to stir the bowl of pancake mix, making only a small noise of acknowledgement to let Lapis know that she has heard her. “Oh, no reason. Just curious.”

She had forgotten to watch her voice again, and let it grow shrill, for no reason at all. How ridiculous.

Lapis is watching her closely, and for once it is making her uncomfortable. Lapis’s foot rubs against her leg.

“We weren’t-I mean…”

Pearl glances over, to see Lapis staring awkwardly at the floor.

“Nothing-um, we weren’t more than friends. It wasn’t romantic.” Lapis suddenly spits out.

Their eyes meet across the kitchen, and Pearl realizes that they are both now deeply uncomfortable. She regrets saying anything that led to this entire conversation. Lapis is still staring at her with wide eyes, so Pearl gives her a quick nod.

“That’s, um. Oh. I just thought, you both seemed close and I-I shouldn’t have presumed. I’m sorry.”

Lapis blinks, and Pearl feels a bit of relief at the thought that perhaps she wasn’t the only one who found the words lumpy.

“Don’t be.” She says softly. Pearl wants to look away from her eyes, but her mind can’t will herself to do so. “I-I-“

 

“Hey Pearl!! I’m home!”

 

Steven yells out as he comes bounding in through the doorway.

Pearl smiles brightly immediately, glad for the chance to latch onto another conversation. “Hello Steven.”

Steven drops his backpack onto the sofa and comes running into the kitchen. Lapis smiles at him shyly.

Steven’s face is surprised, but as is so common with him, it almost instantly changes to a huge smile. “Lapis! You came out today!”

Lapis shrugs, fingers fiddling absently with the hem of her skirts, something Pearl remembers that she does when she is nervous. “I did.”

There is a still moment, with growing discomfort, and then-

“Are those pancakes?” Steven asks excitedly, knowing very well that they are.

He darts over to the stove where Pearl is cooking to look. Pearl can’t help but to beam down at him. “Of course they are Steven.”

He laughs, grinning so happily. Stars, she loves him so.

Pearl gives his head a little pat, and continues to make breakfast.

                                                                                                                        -:-

  
Soon breakfast is ready.

Pearl neatly places a stack of pancakes onto Steven’s plate. Lapis has been watching the entire time from her perch on the countertop. Steven has noticed this as well.

“Lapis, do you want to try a pancake?” He asks, excited.

Pearl worries he is pushing too hard. “Steven, she might not like to eat.” she reminds him quietly.

Lapis shakes her head. “No, it’s fine Pearl. I’d…like to.” She still sounds hesitant, but Pearl decides to take her at what she says. “All right then.”

Steven hands her another plate, and Pearl places two of the smaller pancakes onto it. Steven then carefully hands it to Lapis.

He shows her how to put butter and maple syrup on them, then how to use the fork to cut them into little pieces.

Pearl takes a little moment to watch them before she starts cleaning up the kitchen. Lapis has a funny look on her face when she eats, but she doesn’t seem to find the action of eating utterly disgusting.

Pearl makes a note of that, before turning to the sink and starting to fill the sink with soapy water. 

                                                                                                                          -:-

  
Once Steven and Lapis have finished with their breakfast, Pearl takes the dishes and rinses them quickly, before putting them away in the dishwasher. She then turns to Steven.

“All right. Steven, is there anything you need to do before we go?”

He hops up. “Let me go brush my teeth. I’ll be right back!” Then he runs off.

Lapis watches him go. Then she turns back to Pearl.

“Are-you both going somewhere?” Her voice is hesitant.

Pearl smiles, folding her hand in her other hand. “Steven and I always go grocery shopping on Thursdays, when he gets back from staying with Greg, and after pancakes. We buy all the things that Steven needs for the week.”

Lapis looks at her flatly. “Like what?”

Pearl smiles, a bit of excitement spreading itself into her expression. “I will show you!”

She goes to the inside of the kitchen cabinet and pulls off the sheet of paper that is taped there. She then goes back to show it to Lapis. Pearl hands it carefully to Lapis.

The blue gem’s eyes run over the neatly written words. The faintest of blushes dusts over her cheeks.

Oh. She cannot read.

Pearl realizes that this must be a small source of embarrassment for the water gem. She makes no comment, only briskly takes the piece of paper from Lapis’s hands, quickly enough, she hopes, for Lapis to think that she didn’t intend her to read it in the first place.

“Ahem. Orange juice, milk, paper towels….” She reads the entire list out.

When she finishes, Lapis is watching her with a small curve in her lips, and her head is propped up with one hand. Pearl resists the urge to tell her to take her elbow off of the table.

“I’m shocked you don’t have it memorized.” Lapis says, lips twitching.

Pearl feels slightly insulted.

“Well, it changes every week, Steven writes things down and then I-“ she stops, because Lapis is smiling that smile that lets Pearl know that she is teasing her.

It is a pretty little smile, with the sides turned up and just a glint of little white teeth. Sometimes Lapis giggles with that smile, and Pearl loves it when she does, even if it might be slightly at her expense.

She loves it anyway.

Creeping sunlight casts patterns onto the wooden floor. Lapis is still smiling. At her.

A soft, warm warmth starts to creep into Pearl’s cheeks. It is the sunlight. Not the faintness of a blush, slow and soft.

Lapis’s blue hair glints in the sunlight. Pearl has never noticed how Lapis’s short little curls fall so perfectly around her cheeks. She is such a pretty little gem.

Pearl knows her face is a dark pink. Somehow she can’t get horribly embarrassed about it.

A door slams. Steven comes rushing back.

“Okay Pearl! I’m ready!”

Pearl blinks, and _now_ she is horribly embarrassed.

“Oh, I, ah, that’s wonderful. I suppose we can just-“ she gestures vaguely at the door.

Lapis and Steven both stare at her. Oh dear. And now she can feel her cheeks getting even pinker.

Steven’s eyes dart between them both. “Hey! Can Lapis come with us to the store?”

Pearl’s fingers lace together. She was actually hoping not to embarrass herself further in front of Lapis at the moment, but then it was Lapis. It was seeming to be inevitable to embarrass herself in front of her.

And it would be quite…interesting, to get to spend more time with Lapis.

She nods. “Yes. If Lapis wants to, of course.”

They both glance at Lapis.

Lapis blinks her big eyes, and takes a sip of water.

“All right.”

Steven beams. “Yay!”

Pearl finds herself smiling too. “Steven, you and I can go get the car from Greg, and Lapis can meet us there, once she’s gotten herself ready.”

Lapis rolls her eyes. “What must I do to be ready?”

Pearl sighs. “Brush your hair.”

Lapis slouches in her chair. “But I like it when you do it.”

A stupid smile curls at Pearl’s lips before she can stop it. “I’ll do it another time. Believe it or not, your hair will get tangled again.”

Lapis smirks from her seat. “Finnne.”

Pearl turns to look for Steven. “Steven, if you’re ready, let’s go.” He’s still standing there, with a smile on his face.

“Okay Pearl.”

                                                                                                                                 -:-

  
They walk down the sandy hill to Greg’s building where he washes cars.

Steven knocks on the door of Greg’s van.

“Hey Dad! We’re here for the car!”

The van’s back doors open and Greg pokes his head out. “Hey Steven. Hi Pearl.”

Pearl gives a small smile. A part of her will never want to fully be kind to this human. But he is a kind one himself, and Pearl cannot bring herself to hate him either. So they have this.

Casual chatter.

Pearl can do that.

Steven and Greg are talking about things that Pearl has no interest in, so she simply stands there with a pleasant expression on her face.

“How are you Pearl?”

Pearl blinks at Greg’s question. There is something else to his question, some other meaning to his tone, but it is something that Pearl is not interested in talking about. She chooses to ignore his tone.

“I’m wonderful, how are you?”

Greg grins his lovable (to some) grin. “Good as I’ll ever be.”

Oh what a fun, vague sort of answer.

Pearl would very much like to say something snarky, but she resists the urge.

Where _was_ Lapis?

Pearl smiles. “We hate to bother you so early in the morning, so if we could just have those keys then we will be out of your…hair.”

Oh, why any being would want to have hair growing on their face is beyond Pearl.

Greg nods. “Yeah, let me find them.”

He goes into his car washing building. Pearl folds her hands neatly over one another.

There is a quiet rush of air, then a delicate flop. Lapis is beside her. Her skirt brushes Pearl’s leg.

“Hey.”

Pearl is going to say something when Greg comes running back.

“They were completely buried in a pile of papers, but I managed to find them!” He waves them around exactly like Steven would.

Pearl hurts a little. Greg notices the addition to their party.

“Oh. Lapis…I didn’t realize that you were back.”

Lapis gives a little shrug of her shoulders. The name, the familiarness. Pearl tightens inside.

“Oh, I didn’t know you knew Lapis.” She says at Greg. Her voice has gone a bit high.

Greg suddenly looks very uncomfortable.

“So. How do you know Lapis?” That is a perfectly nice question. Especially when Pearl is really not feeling particularly nice.

Greg clears his throat. “Oh, we, um-went out on my boat with Steven. One time”

Pearl smiles. “Oh, how fun.”

Lapis shrugs. “I broke his boat. Sorry Greg.”

A part of Pearl appreciates that Lapis doesn’t sound very sorry.

Greg quickly shakes his head. “Oh, no, no. It was fine. Didn’t matter at all. Aye okay.”

Pearl smiles very tightly. “Yes. I know everything’s _always_ fine with you, especially when it involves gems.”

Pretty gems.

Pearl feels very extremely tight. Her high voice is giving it all away. She mustn’t do that.

Then a cool, delicate hand wraps itself gently around her wrist. Lapis’s thumb touches her wrist as their hands fold together.

Her blue eyes stare up at Pearl, only Pearl.

“Let’s go to the store.” she says, smiling. All in an instant Pearl is calm again.

So, smile having never yet left her face, she takes the keys from an unnerved Greg, and they (Steven, Lapis, and herself) all get into the car. Lapis’s hand stays on her hand till they get in.

Pearl is breathing to calm herself. Steven is very quiet, and doesn’t argue about Lapis taking the front seat.

The car is quiet as they drive along.

Lapis shifts in the seat beside her.

“Greg’s interesting.” Lapis says into the empty car.

It is very bad if Lapis feels the need to make conversation. Pearl hums under her breath.

“He is a very nice person.”

Her fingers lace tighter around the steering wheel.

“Lapis, do you wanna play the alphabet game?”

Lapis twists around in her seat. Oh dear, she hasn’t even put on the seatbelt. “What’s an alphabet?”

Steven gasps, a hand to his forehead. “Nothing, but the key to the entire English language!”

Pearl rolls her eyes fondly at his dramatics. “Steven, quit kidding Lapis. It’s a written form of the sounds that humans make to communicate. Letters are parts of words, which humans use to tell each other ideas.”

Lapis shrugs, grinning now. “I still don’t get it.”

Pearl sighs, out of habit rather than any real annoyance. “Well, what about- I spy?” Steven suggests.

Lapis shrugs again. “Okay.”

Steven grins. “Pearl has to play too!”

Pearl glances back at him. “Steven I am driving, it requires all of my-“

Steven and Lapis groan simultaneously.

“Noooo..” Steven whines. Lapis gives her a sideways glance. “If I have to, you have to.”

Pearl smiles faintly. “ _All right_ then. But most of my attention will stay on the road, all right?”

They both nod.

“I’ll go first! I spy…” he looks out the window. “A person with a dog!”

Lapis frowns. “What’s a dog?”

Pearl bites back a smile as Steven starts trying to explain to Lapis what a dog is.

                                                                                                                              -:-

  
When they reach the door they have changed car games three times, and are in the middle of a fierce game of Would You Rather.

Lapis is the best at coming up with the worst possible options.

“Oh, come on Pearl. Which one, a bunch of smelly dirty dogs running through the house, or a enormous pizza.” Lapis pokes her arm.

Pearl shrugs hopelessly. “Oh, I don’t know. I suppose the dogs.”

Steven laughs. “Eating isn’t that bad Pearl.”

As they walk into the store Pearl notices that Lapis has laced her arm through Pearl’s. Pearl doesn’t mind it, it is only interesting.

It gives her a tingling feeling in her toes.

With a small jolt, she realizes that the incident with Greg has completely left her mind. That is a rare occurrence.

For an instant she fears that the awful feeling might return. But Lapis, smiling at her, still laughing, holding onto her arm, makes everything vanish.

She just feels happy.

                                                                                                                           -:-

  
When they get home they all help haul the groceries to the house. It goes much faster than normal with Lapis added in.

Once all the grocery bags are in the kitchen, ready to be unpacked, Steven runs off to play.

Pearl smiles, and begins to unpack the bags. Lapis’s hand brushes her arm.

“Hey. Can I help?”

Pearl can’t help but to be surprised.

Coming out of her room, leaving the temple, starting conversations, and now offering to help with another chore. Lapis is having quite a day of it. Pearl appreciates how hard she is trying.

She nods, and gives Lapis a small smile.

They briskly begin to unload all of the items from their bags. Lapis puts things onto the counters, and Pearl finishes putting them away into their specific correct place.

Everything is neatly put away in record time. Pearl smiles, very satisfied.

She straightens from crouching by one of the cabinets. A delicate hand grabs onto her wrist.

Pearl blinks, surprised.

Lapis looks up at her, expression, for once, not teasing.

“Steven told me about that human.”

Pearl can feel the cool granite of the countertop pressing into her back. “Which human is that?” she asks, not understanding.

Lapis’s thumb presses against the soft inside of her wrist, almost cradling her wrist. “That man we saw this morning. … _Greg_.”

Pearl flushes down to her shoulders. “I-I-“

“I know you were jealous.”

Lapis’s words echo in her mind.

She wants to speak, but words are failing her at the moment. “I-I-“

Lapis’s eyes twinkle up at her, and their bodies are close enough to touch. That little thumb is back to tracing circles on her wrist.

“I thought it was sweet. Unnecessary, but sweet.”

Lapis is perched on her toes, still only reaching a little past Pearl’s shoulders. Pearl is sure that her face is burning red, but words tremble out.

“U-unnecessary?”

Lapis’s hand is resting on her shoulder, probably to keep herself up. Then it ghosts upward, softly holding the curve of Pearl’s neck.

Lapis’s eyes are faraway.

Then her lips are pressing the lightest, firmest, of kisses against Pearl’s flushed cheek. Pearl vaguely thinks that, if she had a heart, it would have stopped just then.

The last thing Pearl sees are the glint of Lapis’s dancing eyes, and then she is slipping away and she is gone.

Pearl blinks, very slowly raising a hand to her burning cheek.

Against her will a smile pulls her face upwards, and she cannot find the will to fight it.

Oh stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooooooohhhh
> 
>  
> 
> So by this point, I'm hoping that it's clear that Pearl has absolutely no clue what's going on. But we do, hehe ^-^
> 
> I'm also on fall break for two days!!! So that means more time to write!!! Also, sorry about my appalling updating schedule, I'm super busy with college right now ;P But writing Pearlapis is a great way to destress lol^-^


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